Everyone should be in a gay marriage

Thought that would get your attention! Of course I mean gay, as in happy. If you're not in a gay marriage, you shouldn't be married.

OK, OK...I know that's too cute.

Now, those who love one of their own gender should be in a gay gay marriage, and....Fine. I'll stop. On to the real subject...gay marriage.

Many throughout the country have taken to the streets to protest voter passage of California's Proposition 8, which constitutionally defines marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman. That definition is known throughout the homophobe community as "traditional marriage."

It is quite true that both the Hebrew Scriptures and the New Testament lay down the law against homosexuality. But nowhere in U.S. law does it say that one must follow the Bible. One great thing about America is that we have the freedom to NOT follow the Bible's teaching. Yes, many of our laws do stem from Biblical law. But if the founders wanted the Bible to be the law, the U.S. Constitution would comprise only five words: "The Bible is the law."

I choose to be straight. I follow the teachings of the Torah and find the prospect of making out with a man disgusting (not necessarily in that order). But the measure of a man -- STOP THOSE THOUGHTS! -- or a woman is not what he or she does in a bedroom. It's how they contribute to society.

And in true Consistency Party fashion, explain this paradox: "Thou shalt not commit adultery" is in the Ten Commandments, while we wait a whole 'nother book in the Torah to get to the ban on homosexuality.

Those who believe gays should not be given the right to wed should, for consistency's sake, also believe that a marriage is automatically dissolved upon the first consummation of an extramarital affair. If gays can't be married, adulterers shouldn't be allowed to either.